It only takes two and people have been pairing up and fighting since the fall of man. It started with Adam and Eve’s children. And so, siblings fight. Nations fight. Politicians fight. Neighbors get it on. Animals fight and documentaries are made of it. On and on it goes. But is it ever right to fight? Does a Christian lose ‘cool points’ for losing his cool?

ILLUSTRATION: Anger

Anyone can become angry – that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and it is not easy. – Aristotle.

• People get angry: that’s a Bible fact.

Ephesians 4:26 (KJV)
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

Ephesians 4:26–27 (TLB)
26 If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry-get over it quickly; 27 for when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the devil.

• That’s why the Bible teaches us how to handle it.

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GREAT MEN OF GOD GOT ANGRY

• Moses got angry with Pharaoh

Exodus 11:8 (KJV)
8 And all these thy servants shall come down unto me, and bow down themselves unto me, saying, Get thee out, and all the people that follow thee: and after that I will go out. And he went out from Pharaoh in a great anger.

• The Lord and Moses got angry together with the children of Israel over idolatry.

Exodus 32:10, 19 (ESV)
10 Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them, in order that I may make a great nation of you.”… 19 And as soon as he came near the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, Moses’ anger burned hot, and he threw the tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain.

• Jesus was angry

John 2:13–17 (KJV)
13 And the Jews’ passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem, 14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: 15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables;

• The Apostle Paul got angry with Barnabas

Acts 15:36–40 (KJV)
36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do. 37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. 38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. 39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;

THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ANGER

• Not all anger leads to sin.
• Jesus was angry but He didn’t sin.
• Cain definitely sinned to the point of murderous anger.
• There is an anger because of unrighteousness.
• There is also an anger because of selfishness.
• The ultimate is to grow in and mature in the love of God to the point where nothing moves you.
• This is a process of developing and growing that takes time.
• Until you mature, the Bible gives us the Ephesian 4:26 safeguard. Don’t allow your anger to boil past sundown.
• Putting limits on one’s anger is the teaching of the Bible not suppression.
• Suppression is not the answer. Suppressing anger by internalizing only damages yourself.
• This method of handling anger is ineffective because pent up anger only builds and grows with each successive suppression.
• Some allow anger to build in their dump truck and then when the truck gets full, they unload the whole load over a seemingly minor issue.

Our Target as Believers is to Grow In Love

1 Corinthians 13:5–6 (TLB)
5 Never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.

1 John 4:18 (KJV)
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

• Galatians 5 tells us love is a fruit of the spirit.
• One thing we know about fruit is that fruit grows.
• It’s all about staying connected to the vine, the source of growth.

John 15:5 (ESV)
5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

• We are to grow in love.
• Our target is to mature in love.
• Our target is not to be easily irritated.
• Our target is not to be readily provoked.
• Our target is not to be lightly angered.
• Rule your spirit.

Proverbs 16:32 (ESV)
³² Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

• Here are some things that you might want to remember if you are fussing with your spouse.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

1. Identify the real problem.
2. Label the problem not the person.
3. Name calling is out.
4. Stick to one subject. Avoid the dump truck method of confrontation.
5. No getting historical or hysterical for that matter.
6. Avoid withdrawing or exploding.
7. Threats are a no-no. Don’t threaten to leave, separate, divorce, or abandon. Surely you have enough sense to never get physical.
8. Eliminate sniper tactics. No public potshots.
9. Do not go for the hot buttons. Yes, you know what they are. Stay off of them period.
10. Admit to being angry.
11. Disagree as equals. The whole “agreeing to disagree without being disagreeable” really works.
12. Take turns listening and discussing. Yelling doesn’t get it done.
13. Above all, you are on the clock. Get it fixed before you go to sleep. Seething in your sleep is not good medicine.

Call to Action:

Make the adjustments. Do all you can to recover from strife. Build yourself up in the love of God and control your spirit. If you happen to slip, sundown is coming.

Question: Is there anything in your arsenal you have used to combat anger? Would you please leave your comments in the comments section below?