Dr. Tom McGuiness, a counseling psychologist in New Jersey, gives this explanation of why many affairs take place: Married people seek out or succumb to affairs when they feel devalued or less than fully alive. They are bored. Overburdened. People who have affairs have a child’s deep longing to be touched, caressed, held, hugged and kissed, whether they admit it or not. They want happy surprises. That might mean a sentimental unexpected gift every once in a while. More important, it is the dependable gift of time and caring. The present of shared ideas, experiences, stories, nonsense and games, including sexual games. They want the world to butt out. They want a loving friend, a pal who isn’t judgmental. They want someone to convince them they’re still loved, lovable and very special. For a little while, now and then, they want out from under the grown-up responsibilities that have become predictable, dreary and difficult. 1. These are some of the preventable feelings that couples have. As the old saying goes to be forewarned is to be forearmed. What are some things that married couples can focus to help affair proof their marriage?
