Sometimes alien thoughts buzz in people’s heads like bees doing what’s normal. Even people wishing to do God’s complete will get stunk with the humming question. “What if I married the wrong person. What should I do? How do I  correct the mistake and get back into God’s will?” Let’s look at the hiss coming from this question.

ILLUSTRATION: Seinfeld on Marriage
Jerry Seinfeld says, “To me, the difference between being single and married is the form of government. When you’re single, you are the dictator of your own life. You have complete power. When I give the order to fall asleep on the sofa with the TV on in the middle of the day, no one can overrulle me. When you’re married, you are part of a vast decision-making body. Before anything is accomplished, committees have to study the situation.  No wonder divorce is so painful. You’ve been impeached and you weren’t even the President.” – SeinLanguage

1 Corinthians 7:10–16 (KJV)
¹⁰ And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: ¹¹ But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. ¹² But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. ¹³ And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. ¹⁵ But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. ¹⁶ For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

• This passage gives us categories of married people.
• There are rules given here for:
  1. Believers married to other believers
  2. Believers married to unbelievers

Believers Married to Other Believers

• There are two cases here.

Two Believers Married Who Belong Together And Are A Good Fit

• The thought “Did I Marry The Wrong Person” will still try to invade this couples thinking.
• It’s normal.
• Sometimes these thoughts come from an exterior source.
  • The thought comes because the devil is the devil.
  • His plan is to break up the family unit.
• What destroyed the Roman civilization?
  • Was it an outside force or their own moral corruption?
• Part of Russia’s plan during the Cold war was to destroy us from within.
• The family unit is an extremely powerful spiritual force.
• It is a place of unity (Matt. 18:18).

Deut. 32:30 (KJV)
How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, except their Rock had sold them, and the LORD had shut them up?

• Godly offspring is a force for righteousness.
• Divorce causes devastation across the board.
• God hates divorce because of the devastation and pain it brings

Malachi 2:16 (KJV)
16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

• The devil is a devastator  (John. 10:10).
• The way the enemy attacks is through a man’s thoughts.
• So, the thought will come to you questioning your choice of spouse. “You Married the Wrong Person”, the thought will say.
• The Lord tells to fight these thoughts.

2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

•  Obeying the Word of God is what you do to overcome and get rid of the buzz.

Two Believers Married Who Shouldn’t Have Gotten Married

• The commandment from the Lord is simple. ‘Let them NOT divorce.’
• Once you marry, that believer, that spouse is the will of God for you!
• If you find out that you are not a good match, get off your hips and make it work.
• It won’t be easy. Nothing is. But the will of God is the number one consideration for your life.
• Your “I do” mate is God’s will for you.
• It is appalling when believers divorce other believers because they cannot get along leaving all kinds of wreckage.
• Look, CONSIDER THE CHILDREN! Yes, I am shouting in an internet way.
• To avoid some of this mess, do your homework on the front end while you are dating. Make a good choice to start with.
• If you didn’t, divorce is not the answer. Walking in love is.

Believers Married to Unbelievers

• The rules here are clear:
• If the unbeliever wants to stay married, don’t divorce them.
• It is not right to divorce the unbeliever simply because they are
  unsaved.
• Many unbelievers turn out to be great mates and eventually come to
  Jesus.
• It is not right to divorce because of “irreconcilable differences”
  There is nothing irreconcilable when you have the love of God in you.
• It is right to divorce only if the “unbelieving departs”.

QUESTION: What does depart mean?

• Remember this fundamental marriage concept.
  • Divorce never takes place in the courtroom.
  • It takes place in the hearts of people long before they ever get to court.

QUESTION: What are some of the “signs of departure?”

• Adultery
  • Adultery is bad stuff and can shred a marriage bond.
  • However consider this thought.
    • There is no justification for sin but sometimes the ‘door’ to sin was opened up by the ugly behavior of the mate.
    • Adultery sometimes comes as a result of a spouse not sexually giving their mate their due. This is not a justification for adultery but a source of the problem.
  • Now, if your unbelieving mate is a dog always in heat, put the dog in a kennel and go find a godly match for your life.
• Abuse
  • Sometimes people get emotional . Is that an understatement or what?
    • So an unbelieving wife throws a pan at the husband, should the husband divorce her based on 1 Corinthians 7? No.
  • If a spouse abuses, bruises, breaks bones, knocks out teeth, blackens eyes, should their be a divorce?
  • In my opinion, yes. I had little tolerance for this type of thing as a pastor.
• Drugs and alcohol
  • This may or may not be departure ground.
• Always fighting and arguing
  • Is NOT departure ground. Work it out!
• ‘I just don’t love him/her anymore’
  • Is again NOT departure ground. Work it out!

• Recently, I read about six divorce myths. I would like to share those with you and expand on them a little.

Myth’s on Divorce

• Myth #1: The grass is greener outside my marriage. The conflict you are in may give that impression. That is seldom the case after the divorce. The truth: what looks so green is usually the weeds.
• Myth #2: The kids will be better off. The truth: Divorce, even under the best of circumstances, has a devastating effect on children. Kids will always want their mother and father to be together.
• Myth #3: Divorce is justified in my case because i’m not in love anymore. The world has taken over this person’s thinking. The truth: The same God who commanded people to love thier enemies will gladly help couples who want to learn to love each other again.
• Myth #4: Divorce will make me happy. Happiness is determined by a person’s attitude, not by circumstances. The truth: While some people subsequently come to experience happiness, most experience guilt, loneliness, and anxiety.
• Myth #5: Divorce will set me free. There are all kinds of prisons. The truth: Divorce doesn’t really free you; it shackles you in a different way.
• Myth #6: It is God’s willl for me to divorce. Satan has told that lie millions of times. The truth: God has declared that He hates divorce (Mal. 2:16).

God wants all His children to be happy. More important, God wants all His children to be righteous. God wants all His children to be faithful. God wants all His children to be happy doing His will.  ¹.

Call to Action:

Paul’s instructions by the Spirit of God are plain. Only in extreme cases is a divorce a go to option. Until then, walk in love. Look at your spouse the right way as God’s will for your life and make the union work.

Question: There is much road to cover in a post like this. What thoughts do you have on this subject? Would you please share them in the comments section below.